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Chandler earned the nickname “Sir Limpsalot”
from his friend Ross Geller after Monica Geller
dropped a sharp knife on Chandler’s canvas shoe
during a 1985 Thanksgiving and cut off the tip
of his small toe. By the way, Chandler hates
Thanksgiving because his parents announced their
divorce on that holiday when he was nine years
old. His dad came out of the closet and ran off
with a man.
| Chandler: |
Yo, paisan! [Joey]. Can I talk to you for a sec? Your
tailor is a very bad man...Oh, come on. He
said he was going to do my inseam, and
then he ran his hand up my leg. And then,
there was definite...cupping. |
In the “Fears and Pet Peeves” department
Chandler admitted that Michael Flatley, the Lord
of the Dance gave him the “heebie-jeebies."
Chandler justified his fear of this Irish folk
dancer saying "His leg flails about as if
independent from his body!" He also doesn’t like
bra’s because he just can’t figure them out. And
he hates dogs because “they’re needy, jumpy and
you can’t tell what they’re thinking, and that’s
scary!“ But, perhaps, the most disturbing thing
Chandler ever saw was his dad doing tequila
shots off the pool boy.
Smoking is another of Chandler's
vulnerabilities. He quit for a while, but when
he began to smoke again due to stress from work,
his friends did not approve. In defense of his
personal failure of succumbing to his addiction,
Chandler angrily told his friends "Hey, you
know, I have had it with you guys and your
"cancer" and your "emphysema" and your "heart
disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool and
you know it." Of course, with pressure from
Monica and friends, he stopped his nasty habit
for good.
|
Phoebe: |
All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit
smoking is to dance naked in a field of
heather, and then bathe in the sweat of
six healthy young men. |
|
Chandler: |
Or what my father called Thursday night. |
For a time, Joey moved to his own apartment, and
Chandler shared his digs with a giggling psycho
named Eddie who entered Chandler's room at night
to watch him sleep. Eddie was so loopy that he
thought a goldfish-shaped cracker in the fish
tank was a real fish. To finally get rid of him,
Joey secretly moved back into the apartment and
convinced Eddie that he’d never left and that
Eddie was mistaken in his belief that he'd ever
lived with Bing. Later, Chandler moved into
Monica's apartment when their romance began to
blossom while Joey remained across the hall.

Joey & Chandler
Watch TV in Comfort
Before Chandler fell in love with Monica he had
an on and off relationship with an irritating,
nasal girl named Janice whose catchphrase was
“Oh...My...GAWD!” She called Chandler her
"Bing-a-Ling." Janice eventually married, left
her husband, had a fling with Chandler, got
divorced and resurfaced a last time when she
began to date Ross for a while.
Chandler also dated Kathy, Joey's actress
girlfriend (Joey forced Chandler to live in a
box as penance for dating her behind his back);
Joey's ex-girlfriend Ginger the Stick Lady who
unbeknownst to Chandler had an artificial leg
(which Joey had accidentally thrown in a burning
fireplace); Nina Bookbinder, Chandler's pretty
office assistant whom he later labeled mentally
disturbed; Joey's sister Mary Angela with whom
Chandler shared a drunken smooch against Joey's
wishes; Joanna, Rachel's boss at Bloomingdales
who handcuffed Chandler in her office; Aurora, a
married enchantress who only wanted to have wild
sex with Chandler - and other men; and a woman
in Atlantic City who turned out to be a man -
that Chandler kissed.
Going back in time to his fourth grade,
Chandler lifted up the skirt of Susie Moss
during a play and the entire audience got a good
laugh. Years later, Susie, now an actress,
reunited with Chandler, lured him into a men’s
room stall with the promise of sex and convinced
him to strip naked and put on her hot pink thong
panties. Susie quickly snatched up his clothes
and left Chandler to walk home naked for making
her live with the nickname “Suzie Underpants”
until she was eighteen.
Another dating tale happened when Chandler was
15. It seems he went to summer camp for two
years (his nickname was "Skidmark") and met and
dated a girl named Julie Graff. However, when
she got fat, he dumped her (this story upset
Monica very much who was herself a former
fatty).
In college, Chandler used to tell his dates he
was a "Kennedy" to have sex with him. He also got
drunk one night and slept with the woman who
cleaned his dorm. This fact was inadvertently
revealed during a heated conversation with his
friend Ross.
Chandler’s wish list of celebrities that he would
like to sleep with consists of Kim Basinger,
Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth and
Jessica Rabbit. Chandler did have the pleasure
of being trapped inside an ATM vestibule during
a blackout with Jill Goodacre, a famous
underwear model. When she offered him a piece of
gum, Chandler said "Gum would be perfection" and
then quickly loathed himself for saying such a
dumb thing.
When Ross Geller traveled to England to marry
Emily, everybody but a pregnant Phoebe went
along for the event. But while Ross's marriage
ceremony ended in disaster (he said "Rachel"
instead "Emily" during the "I Do" portion of the
ceremony) sexual sparks began to fly between
Chandler and Monica who happily frolicked under
the covers and in the bathtub in their hotel
suites.
|
 |
|
The afterglow of
Chandler's first sexual encounter with
Monica during their stay in a London
hotel. |
On their return to the States, Chandler and
Monica both decided to keep their romantic
liaison a secret. Eventually, Joey learned about
it but he was sworn to keep his mouth shut. But
Rachel and Phoebe wiggled the truth from Joey
and in the spirit of fun, Phoebe set out to
seduce Chandler. But Monica realized that Joey
had spilled the beans, and a very competitive
Monica forced Chandler to play along with the
seduction game. But just as the situation
started to heat up, Chandler broke and declared
his love for Monica.
In the end, everybody knew about Chandler and
Monica, except for Ross who one day saw them
making out while looking out his apartment
window. Shocked, he cried "That's my Sister!"
Thankfully, his initial anger turned into joy
when he realized that Chandler really loved his
sister. What could be better than having your
best friend for a brother-in-law.
Continued on Next Page >
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