Ever since she was a child Diane dreamed of
being a ballerina and later in life while at
Cheers she auditioned to be a ballerina (with
In high school, Diane was voted the girl most
likely to marry into old money. She lost her
virginity at age nineteen. In college, Diane
belonged to the Phi Epsilon Delta sorority. Her
course load included 26 units of psychology
[she’s a Skinnerian Behaviorist] and a bowling
course that satisfied her Phys Ed requirement.
To keep her company, Diane collected a number of
stuffed animals including Mr. Jammers, a
giraffe; Freddy Frogbottom, a toad; Mr. Buzzer,
a bee; Gary Gorilla [who hates Mr. Jammers] and
her favorite puppet Brian the Lion. The remains
of Brian were turned into a rag that Diane used to
wipe the bar at Cheers.
Diane also had a real cat named Elizabeth
Barrett Browning (after her favorite poet). When
her cat died Diane went into a deep depression.
And speaking of depression, Diane once spent a
lengthy stay at Goldenbrook Psychiatric
Hospital. Diane was allergic to dogs especially
Frasier Crane’s dog Pavlov. When exposed she
talked in a high-pitched nasal voice.
When upset Diane gets a facial tic that causes a
twitch on the right-hand side of her face. It
almost ruined her chances in the ‘45th Annual
Miss Boston Barmaid Competition but she won
based on beauty, perkiness and congeniality. To
stop the twitch, Diane meditates.
Prior to Cheers, Diane worked as a salesclerk at
the 3rd Eye Bookstore; a checkout clerk at
Hurley's Market; and a substitute teacher at
For a time, Diane's was stalked by a crazed
ex-murderer called Andy Andy who was released
from psychiatric hospital. The experience gave
her strange nightmares.
Diane's father wanted Diane to marry so he
placed a clause in his will (as a motivational
factor) that if she did not get married within
ten years of his death, then all of his money
would be forfeited from both Diane and her
mother. One day before the ten years expired,
Helen shows up and informs Diane of the will's
condition. Diane tired to find a ready-made
husband, but didn't meet the deadline.
Fortunately, the family chauffeur who had been
stealing money from the family for years,
proposed marriage to Helen and she was back on
the road to wealth.
And finally, while everyone at Cheers calls bar
regular Mr. Peterson "Norm," the prim and proper
Diana calls him "Norman."
Some Sam &
You are the
nuttiest, the stupidest, the phoniest
fruitcake I ever met!
You Sam Malone
are the most arrogant self centered...
Sam & Diane:
Shut your fat
Make you.. My
God I'm, I'm gonna, I'm GONNA BOUNCE YOU
OFF EVERY WALL IN THIS OFFICE!!
Try it and
you'll be walking funny tomorrow... Or
should I say funnier.
You know, You
know I always wanted to pop you one! Maybe
this is my lucky day, huh?
me! I hate you!
Are you as
turned on as I am?
You know I've
never met an intelligent women that I
would want to date!
On behalf of
the intelligent women around the world,
may I just say [swiping her forehead]
[Sam, on the
way to the cellar] "Would you like to join
me somewhere quiet, empty and dimly lit?"
[to Sam] "If
brains were money, you'd have to take out
a loan for a cup of coffee!"
[to Diane] "To
me, our relationship makes perfect sense.
You want me to propose to you, I propose
to you. You say no, I say fine, I never
wanna see you again. You drive me nuts
telling me you want me to propose again, I
do, you turn me down. Next thing I know
I'm in a court of law where I've got to
propose to you or go to jail. It's the
classic American love story."