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HEFFERNAN, Doug S. & Carrie
(The King of Queens)
3121 Aberdeen
New York City, NY (Queens)
Doug Stephen Heffernan is a delivery man
[#62287] for International Parcel Service (IPS).
Born February 9th, 1965 (Pisces) Doug is
overweight, a former club bouncer, and a
recipient of IPS’s ‘Driver of the Month’
award. He loves to watch sports, plays the
harmonica (badly), belongs to a bowling team
and was a former football player in high
school. |

Doug & Carrie Heffernan |
Doug’s spitfire wife, Carrie [née Spooner] is
tough, nearly thirty-years-old, sneaks a
cigarette once in a while, cheats at board
games, cooks lousy, and works as a legal
secretary at a posh Manhattan law firm (laid off
in 2003) She wears a size two dress and a bit
too much make-up. Her mother Sophia was heavyset
(per the family photo albums). Unfortunately for
Carrie, all the women in Sophia's family "fatten
up as they age.”
Now, the Heffernan’s lived happily in their
modest two-story brick home until Carrie’s
recently widowed father, Arthur Spooner - in his
70s - burned down his own house and had to move
in the Heffernan's basement that was supposed to
be Doug’s TV room. Consequently, Doug's brand
new 70-inch big screen set got moved into the
garage (a.k.a. “The Love Zone”) and later was
stolen when Carrie left the garage door open. To
watch Arthur, Doug and Carrie had a camera
installed (“Arthur Cam”) so they could monitor
him in the basement.
Besides
Arthur's boisterous personality, he exhibited a
number of other quirky traits. When it comes to
holidays, Arthur hates Halloween and bans it in
the Heffernan household (due to a traumatic
childhood experience when his father forcibly
dragged Arthur around house to house to collect
money and candy because he was so cheap). But
Arthur loves Christmas and will take on any
neighbor who thinks they can put a bigger wreath
or better decorations. Arthur gave Doug and
Carrie a a small European roadster called a
Douchenberger as a Christmas present which they
quickly unloaded to a friend.
In addition, Arthur once dated a woman who
claimed she was once Frank Sinatra's girlfriend.
And he believed that Charles Schultz used his
likeness as inspiration for Charlie Brown and
the rest of the Peanuts© gang. He also purchased
a partially engraved headstone years ago that
does not provide for him to live past 1999. In
November of 2001, Arthur had heart surgery..
Now Arthur wasn't the only one in the family
with issues. Doug and Carrie, for instance, had
a problem keeping their credit card bills paid
off. When they finally paid off their bill after
six years, Carrie went out and bought a $400
dollar leather jacket to celebrate getting out
of debt, which put her back into debt. To
augment her clothing wardrobe, Carrie wears new
cloth for a week and then returns them to the
store with the original receipt for a refund.
Her husband called her a “shopping bulimic” and
she developed a rash on her wrist from hiding
the tags. OF course, Carrie buys Doug‘s clothes
at the “Big and Tall Shop.”

Doug on the job at IPS
Doug and Carrie first met on a date (where
Carrie was originally intentioned for Richie and
Doug for her friend, Lynn),. and over the course
of the evening Doug and Carrie fell in love. A
few years later, Doug and Carrie sell their
engagement rings to buy a hot tub and satellite
dish.
To spice up their sex life, Carrie likes Doug to
imitate the accent of his fellow worker Rico to
get her hot. Carrie, in turn, imitates the voice
of Rico’s girlfriend Francesca to accelerate the
sexual mood. But Doug is easy in the sex
department, To get him sexually aroused, Doug
thinks of Alyssa Milano, she’s sexy and her last
name is a cookie. Yum!
Although sexually active, the Heffernan’s have
no children, but time to time Carrie has tried
to get pregnant, without success. She had a
miscarriage in the spring of 2001. Speaking of
childbirth once Doug accidentally shot himself
with a staple and when they pulled it out at the
hospital emergency room, the yelps he made were
reminiscent of those heard in a delivery.
The Heffernan’s friends included Doug’s former
roommate Spence, a subway toll collector [he had
dated Carrie]; black IPS coworker Deacon Palmer,
his sons Kirby & Major [The Hefferman’s are his
Godparents] and wife, Kelley [They are
separated]; sportswriter Ray Barone and his
wife, Deborah; actor Lou Ferrigno [a.k.a. The
Incredible Hulk] who moved in next store; later
neighbors Mike and Debi, both yuppie
professionals; Gary and Abby Shropshire, a
childless couple dubbed the new “Saturday Night;
annoying neighbors, Tim and Dorothy Sacksky;
Doug's firefighter friend, Richie Iannucci, a
sports fanatic; and Holly, a dog walker who
takes Arthur on a stroll three times a week and
listens to his WWII war stories. Arthur served
in the 71st Army infantry during WWII. Inspired
by the book "Tuesday's With Morrie," Arthur tried
to find someone to chronicle his wisdom.
Continued Next Page>
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