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VAN HORN, Nina
(Just Shoot Me!)
c/o Blush Magazine
New York, City, NY (Manhattan)
Nina is a fashion editor for Blush magazine.
She is an ex-model, neurotic, anorexic and a
smoker. As a child, Wisconsin-born Nina was
abandoned and then adopted by the Noodleman's, farmers from Kansas. They named
their new daughter "Claire" (after the
family's missing cat) On the farm, Nina
performed jobs like calming down the horses.
When she had a chance, Claire escaped to the
outside world and became Nina Van Horn. |

The Fabulous Nina Van Horn |
Back in the 1970s and 80s Nina had been a top
model and partied hardy with the jet set. She
married Robert Evans for a month and was
responsible for the closing of Studio 54, a
popular nightclub. In 1974, Nina was voted model
of the year. Nicknamed the "Gotcha Girl," Nina's
face graced the covers of such magazines as
Blush, Redbook, Mademoiselle, and
Vogue.
Supermodel Twiggy was once Nina's roommate.
Nina’s leopard skin bikini that she wore on a
1978 Sports Illustrated swim suit issue was put
on display at the Model Cafe. A Japanese
businessman offered $10,000 to buy it. Nina’s
friends later stole it back when she found out
it was displayed in front of a trash dumpster.
Once, Nina had a genuine zebra-skin dress custom
made for Earth Day.

The staff of Blush Magazine (Vicki, Jack,
Maya, Finch, Nina and Elliot)
Nina's coworkers at Blush included:
- Jack
Gallo, the magazine's oft-wed publisher and
Nina's close friend who gave her a job at Blush
after he found her down on her luck working as a
model [dressed as a mermaid] at a convention
- Maya Gallo, Jack's daughter, an accomplished
journalist who unsuccessfully tries to change
the magazine’s “fluffy” tone
- Dennis Finch, Jack’s sarcastic,
power-hungry assistant.
- Elliott DiMauro, the magazine’s
commitment-phobic photographer who sleeps with
all the models he shoots
- Newcomer Vicki
Costa, who was hired by Jack for her fresh ideas
on fashion (this made Nina feel threatened)
From time to time, both Elliot and Finch joined
forces to play practical jokes on Nina. Once,
Elliot painted Nina's body gold for a photo shot
to revive her modeling career, but when Nina got
on his nerve, he told Nina he ran out of the
solvent needed to remove the paint. Forced to
wear the gold coating for a while, Dennis Finch
put his arm about her waist and began to thank
the Academy for his Oscar.
Nina's greatest fear in life is losing her
looks. But, nothing brightens Nina’s day like
hearing about the failure of others. As for
Nina’s money situation, what she didn’t put up
her nose, she invested in a peanut-powered
lawnmower. Nina is allergic to peanut butter.
When she eats it, her lips swell up. Her best
friend is Binnie.
In 2000, the A&E cable network did a biography
retrospective of her career entitled "Nina Van
Horn: Trouble Be Thy Name." Hosted by Harry
Smith, it revealed some amazing facts about the
life of Nina Van Horn, including being a gun
totting member of the Symbionese Liberation
Army, her recuperation from drug abuse in Upper
New York State, starting a failed singing career
by cutting a single record called “Sweet Party
Time” that fizzled on the charts, going over the
edge during a live taping of A.M. Milwaukee and
single-handedly broke up the rock group "The
Eagles."
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Nina painted
gold for cover shoot. |
Nina in leather as "Foxy
Brown" |
As musician Don Henley recalled "She was
crashing at Joe Walsh's house and he used to
bring her to recording sessions. He didn't want
to leave her alone in his house because, well,
she would steal things. In the studio, she used
to try to sneak in and play tambourine and do
background vocals. We couldn't get rid of her,
so finally we just said, 'To hell with it, let's
all go solo'.'' When asked to sum up Nina with
one word, Don Henley, who had mixed feeling on
the subject said "destructive, no vibrant. Is
there a word that means both those things? I bet
the Germans had one." Nina was known as "Flower
Power" in the days of Haight-Ashbury and
Altamont.
Comedian Buddy Hackett called her a "Back seat
driver" while actor Jamie Farr called her "Hot!"
Sidney Pollack described Nina as a “beautiful
traffic accident.” And author George Plimpton
said “Nina opened the toolbox that held the
hammer that drove the nail into the coffin that
was the 60’s.” Bernie Casey, Nina's costar in
the Foxy Brown blaxploitiation films remarked
"That was the last time I saw the bitch."
(Nina's catchphrase in the film was “I got your
number, super pimp.”)
At the turn of the millennium, Nina was
approached by a elderly couple who claimed to be
her biological parents. Nina took a blood test
which proved negative, but she was so enamored
with her alleged parents, she lied to them to
continue the ruse. Unfortunately, her parents
turned out to be a team of gold-digging
con-artists who only wanted her money.
In January 2002, Nina received the shock of her
life when her daughter, Chloe whom she had given
up for adoption 34 years earlier arrived on her
door step. Reluctant at first, Nina soon became
friends with Chloe and then was further
surprised to learn she had a granddaughter named
Tess. Unfortunately, Tess, like Nina in her
youth, was a wild child who loved, bars, boys
and clubs. Both Chloe and Nina went into
intervention mode to save the girl for her own
good. They even promised to sleep with Dennis
Finch, whom Tess was romancing, if he would stop
seeing her.
Continued next page >
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