Howdy, I'm Clyde, chief wrangler in the employ of the marvelous TeyVey-A-Tuba, the Digital Diva of Channel Surfing.

It's my job to keep an army of electrically-charged creatures called "Zappers" on track so they can deliver the planet's TV signals to their proper destinations, so that TV viewers everywhere can flawlessly switch from one channel to the next to obtain their favorite TV shows.

The Zappers are binary herds of zeros and ones. There are billions of them, but you'll never see them because they're the size of an atom.

Now some of you might ask how do I see these Zappers. Well, Superman has X-Ray vision and I have electromagnetic and microscopic vision. There ain't a Zapper been born that I can't find. And believe me, they can be tricky critters.

With my ability to teleport instantaneously anywhere on the globe, I keep those digital doggies rollin', rollin', rollin' 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. And, if they get out of line, I snag 'em with my trusty electro-lasso or corral them with a crack of my rawhide whip.

To give you some idea of who I am and what I like, here is some personal information you might find useful. Happy trails, pardner.

Astrological Sign:

• The one with the Scales

Birthplace:

• Home, Home on the Range.

My Age:

• As old as I want to be. And that' all I'm saying.

My Favorite Color:

• Leather Brown.

My Favorite Movies:

• Willy Wonka (The Oompa Loompas are close friends of mine)
• Magnificent Seven
• Enter the Dragon
• Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Frodo's the man...eer "Hobbit")
• Jeremiah Johnson
• The Outlaw Josey Wales
• How the West Was Won
• The Terror of Tiny Town
• Billy the Kid Vs. Dracula

My Favorite TV Shows:

• Deadwood
• Gunsmoke
• Rawhide
• Little People Big World
• Little House on the Prairie
• Smallville
• Numbers

My Favorite Songs:

• Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel
• Whip it - Devo
• It's a Small World - Robert & Richard Sherman
• I'm a Man - The Yardbirds
• Back in the Saddle - Aerosmith
• Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot
• Desperado - The Eagles
• Bad Company - Bad Company
• Ballad of Davy Crockett - Bill Hayes
• Riders on the Storm - The Doors

My Hobby:

I like to sneak inside TV programs and eavesdrop on the plot. The next time your watching a program, keep an eye on the background. I'm often mingling with extras on the show. Because I'm so small, it's easy for me to hide behind a bush or a piece of furniture. You can look for me on shows like LOST, HEROES, CSI, BONES and NCIS (That Abby is such a hottie!).

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