"One day a man was walking along the beach and heard a woman crying. The woman had no arms and no legs. When he asked what was the problem, she revealed "I'm twenty one. I have no arms and legs and I have never been kissed." Bending down, man gave her a soft yet passionate kiss and then began to walk away. At that, the woman continued crying. Again, the man asked what was the problem. She continued "I'm twenty one, I have no arms and no legs and I've never been screwed." The man paused for a moment, then picked her up and tossed her into the ocean. Walking away, he yelled "You're screwed now!"

Upon hearing the joke's punch line Ally got angry. Renee told her to lighten up and that it was just a joke. But Ally insisted the joke was not funny but cruel and challenged Renee to stand up in front of the audience at their local pub and tell the same story. She was sure the joke would not make people laugh. Renee accepted the challenge but as part of the deal (if she won the bet) Ally had to get on stage and tell the only dirty joke she knows about a "flea" (that gets stuck in the mustache of a man after making love to a woman). At first, Ally shuddered at the thought of getting on stage in front of all of those people but she reluctantly accepted the challenge to make a point about Renee's dirty joke. To gauge her "prudishness," Ally even told the joke to her coworkers but they too laughed. Later that week, Renee got up on stage, warmed up the audience with some minor frivolities and then told her "Screwed" joke. Consequently, the audience laughed to high heaven. Losing the bet, Ally agreed to fulfill her part of the bargain. The next night Ally told her "flea" joke and was humiliated when the audience sat in silence at the punch line. Feeling one-foot tall, Ally fled the stage. That night, Ally had learned a valuable lesson. That people can be cruel. That the men in the audience laughed at the joke because they were "Men." And that the women in the audience were laughing at the men in the audience for being such jerks. Even a Rabbi that Ally dated enjoyed the joke and told Ally people laugh at such jokes to release repressed tensions, and that he even wrote a thesis on it in school. Later at a bar, Ally confessed to her attorney friend, Billy Thomas "I'm...hardening up aren't I?...I told a dirty joke on stage, I think I'm ready to be released into the real world." He agreed and they drank a toast to the newer, harder (and less innocent) Ally McBeal.

ANGEL/WB/1999-2004 (Injured Hand)
**(Christian Kane) Lindsey McDonald, an evil lawyer with a missing right hand. Lindsey works for the law firm of Wolfram & Hart in Los Angeles. Their clientele consist of vampires, demons and other hellish creatures. On episode No.22 "To Shansu from L.A." (5/22/2000) Lindsey prepared to raise the soul of a vanquished vampire from the dead. But a good vampire named Angel (David Boreanaz) disrupts the ceremony and slices off Lindsay's right hand when he attempts to burn an ancient ritual scroll known as the Scrolls of Obearsain. Lindsey now wears a rubber prosthetic hand and generally keeps his right arm dangling by his side. On episode No.40 "Dead End" (4/24/2001) Lindsey got a new hand that seemed to have a mind of its own. He soon after quit the firm and hit the road.

THE AVENGERS/ABC/1966-69 (Crippled)
**(Patrick Newell) Mother, the crippled supervisor of special British secret service agents John Steed and Ms. Emma Peel. Mother first appeared as a cameo character on the January 1969 episode "The Forget-Me-Knot." Crippled in his early days of service to the crown, Mother was unable to walk without the aid of special strap and ladder suspended from the ceiling. In constant pain, the rotund man was not the kindest person to work with. Frequently seen in a wheelchair, he chided "Mother knows best."

BEWITCHED/ABC/1964-72 (Injured Back)
*(Dick York/costar) When Dick York was filming They Came to Cordura with Gary Cooper in 1959, he was required to lift a railroad handcar along with several other actors. Unfortunately, when the director yelled "Cut" all the actors but York dropped the handcar and it fell on him, wrenching his spine and tearing his muscles. The trauma caused by the accident followed him throughout the filming of the BEWITCHED series, forcing him to eventually miss a number of episodes, twelve of which were due to his back ailment. He left the series in 1969. He spent his later years living in Rockford, Michigan, suffering from a deteriorating spine and emphysema. Although physically incapacitated, he found time to run the Dick York Acting for Life organization that assisted the homeless. He died on February 21, 1992, at the age of sixty-three.

BIONIC WOMAN/ABC/NBC/1976-78 (Injured Ear, Legs, Arm)
*(Lindsay Wagner) Jaime Sommers, tennis pro who was physically reconstructed after being nearly killed in a skydiving accident. Her shattered body was fitted with a bionic right arm, legs and super-hearing in her right ear. When she recuperated from her surgery she began to work as a school teacher and part-time spy for the Office of Scientific Information. One of the drawbacks of her accident was the memory lapse wherein she forgot her engagement to Colonel Steve Austin (Lee Majors), who had earlier also undergone a bionic operation after an airplane crash. A similar plotline surfaced on THE BIONIC SIX/SYN/1987, a syndicated cartoon about six members of the Bennett family who possessed bionic powers. See also - "Six Million Dollar Man"

BIRDS OF PREY/WB/2002-03 (Crippled)
*(Dina Meyer) Barbara Gordon, a.k.a. the crime fighter Batgirl who is now relegated to a wheelchair after being injured in a battle with the nefarious criminal known as the Joker. After the battle with the Joker that subsequently killed the female criminal known as Catwoman, Barbara Gordon became the guardian of Helena Kyle, the secret daughter of Catwoman and Batman, the caped crusader who mysteriously disappeared from Gotham City after Catwoman's death. Now, by day, Barbara works as a computer science teacher and by night she becomes Oracle, the leader of a high-tech crime fighting group that consists of Helena Kyle and a talented teenage girl named Dinah. Together, this dynamic trio - based in the city's Clocktower - fight crime as the "Birds of Prey."

BLAKE'S SEVEN/BBC/1978-81 (Damaged Eye &Hand)
**(Stephen Greif) Space Commander Travis, the disfigured henchmen of an evil alien Federation of planets who pursued the spaceship, Liberator and its crew of criminals-turned-freedom fighters across the vastness of space. Travis' hand (damaged courtesy of Roj Blake, Captain of the Liberator) had been replaced with an artificial prosthesis equipped with a laser beam. He also wore a black patch over his injured left eye.

BOB PATTERSON/ABC/2001 (Crippled)
**(Chandra Wilson) Claudia, a klutzy African-American female secretary who recently lost the use of her legs and now must use a wheelchair to get around. Her new job assignment is working with Bob Patterson a.k.a. "America's No. 3 self-help guru."

BOSTON PUBLIC/FOX/2000+ (Missing Hand)
**(Kathy Baker) Meredith Peters, a 46 years old, blond female who took a job at Winslow High School in Boston as a teaching assistant volunteer and later as a teacher. Meredith lost her right hand in an alleged "gardening" accident and keeps her hand in a jar filled with formaldehyde. Behind her back, she is called "The Hook" and "The Hook Lady" by students and staff. How'd she lose her hand? Well, Meredith insisted that her son Jeremy, get all A's at school. She locked him in the basement to make sure he studied. On graduation night 2001 (Episode "Chapter Twenty-Two" aired 05/21/01) Jeremy was asked to attend the ceremony to receive an award as the most promising Junior of the year. Before he left home, he handcuffed his mother in the basement. Meredith accidentally cut off her right hand in an attempt to use a chainsaw to escape her confinement. Later, Meredith let Jeremy (an aspiring medical student with the highest IQ in the senior class) take it to Winslow High School to dissect it under the supervision of the science teacher. The science teacher commented that the area of amputation was jagged and he criticized the doctor for such sloppy work. This comment led to speculation that maybe Jeremy had killed his mother. When faculty members visited the Peter's to check on the mother, they found Meredith alive but with a bloody stump on her right arm wrapped in bandages. Meredith explained away her condition away as a gardening accident. This left the faculty members speculating that maybe Jeremy had chopped off her hand.

TRIVIA NOTE: Meredith's personality is icy and menacing. She fills her weekends with endless baking, knitting, and attentive acts of smothering motherhood but inside Meredith is lonely and yearns for companionship. She hasn't had sex with a man since the "accident" because she fears they will be repelled by her prosthetic hook. To take away the shock of her metal hook, she contemplated buying a life-like rubber hand. Scott Gruber, her new boyfriend and Assistant Principal at Winslow High School, offered to share half the cost of the rubber hand to help cement their relationship as a couple. On episode "Chapter Thirty" (aired 01/07/02) Meredith now wears her new prosthetic hand. But, in the midst of a heated argument about Jeremy's possible homosexuality, Scott puts Meredith in her place and starts to leave the room. Meredith, thinking their relationship is crumbling fearfully asks "You're not going to take away my hand?" Of course, he didn't.

THE BRADYS/CBS/1990 (Crippled)
**(Michael Lookinland) Bobby Brady, wheelchair-bound after being paralyzed from the waist down as the result of a racing car accident.

BRONK/CBS/1975-76 (Crippled)
**(Dina Ousley) Ellen Bronkov, daughter of Lt. Alex "Bronk" Bronkov (Jack Palance) who was crippled in an accident that killed her mother. Living in Ocean City in southern California, Ellen was confined to a wheelchair.

DALLAS/CBS/1978-91 (Crippled)
**(Jared Martin) Dusty Farlow, a ranch hand working at Southfork who was injured in a plane crash and nursed back to health by Sue Ellen Ewing He spent most of his recuperation in a wheelchair during the 1979 season.

DARK ANGEL/FOX/2000-02 (Crippled with Spinal Damage)
*(Michael Weatherly/costar) Logan Cale, a.k.a. "Eyes Only, "an idealistic cyber journalist with a damaged spinal cord caused by a bullet. He runs an underground video network called Streaming Freedom.. While sentenced to a wheel chair, he has Max Guevara (a.k.a. "Dark Angel") do his leg work for him and battle injustice. Logan regains his ability to walk after Max gives him a transfusion of her genetically-engineered super-human blood.

DIFF'RENT STROKES/NBC/ABC/1978-86 (Crippled)
**(Melanie Watson ) Kathy Gordon, a sprite, wisecracking, young girl named who became friends with Arnold Jackson (Gary Coleman) the series' star. Kathy's body was dwarfed/undersized and rode a motorized wheelchair. Her character was introduced to the series during the 1983 season.

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