Toefl writing: Children spend great amount of time on sports. Pros and Cons?

Topic:

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Sample Essay:

Most kids love to play sports. It’s important to them, but for the majority, it’s just one type of activity out of many that they do. For a small number of kids, though, a sport becomes their whole life. They spend almost all their time and energy practicing. This has both advantages and disadvantages.

Sports are good for young children in many ways. Kids who enjoy sports are likely to have better health. They develop good habits of daily exercise that will keep them healthy as adults, too. Today, many children and adults are overweight, but those who love sports stay in shape. Plus, by developing their physical abilities, they will learn how to work hard towards a goal. Their achievements in sports will make them feel good about themselves. They’ll also make friends and learn teamwork. Sports, whether a little or a lot, can have positive effects.

We admire the talent and dedication of young athletes, but we also wonder if they’re losing something. Their focus is very narrow. If they devote most of their time to sports, are they neglecting schoolwork? What about other interests? Children should try out many different activities. In addition, many young athletes are pressured by parents or coaches to succeed. Kids whose drive comes from inside usually do okay, but others can be unhappy and have health and emotional problems. So sports, like anything else in excess, can have negative effect too.

When I was young, I liked books and hated sports. I saw other people who loved sports and hated school. Now that I’m older, I’ve found a better balance. People have to figure out what’s right for them. Is there such a thing as too much sports? There is no right answer, because there is no “right amount.” Everyone is different.